Monday, May 25, 2009

Nub Needed Duct Taping

Supposedly somewhere in a small town in Texas there is still a law on the books dating from the rough and tumble frontier days that states a valid defense for shooting someone is "he needed shooting".

That's my kind of justice: I'm sorry, your honor, he needed shooting. Case dismissed! That's the logic I'm using to justify the idea that the toddlers need duct taping. If you have now or have ever had a toddler you know what I'm talking about. Blink and they're gone; constantly in motion to find the most dangerous item in the house, the most precarious situation, or the loudest activity.

Nub is turning four years old, and he's come a long way from the premature infant with the congestive heart failure, the immature lungs, the open heart surgery, and the delayed everything. He is now a running, grasping, climbing, and roughhousing toddler. Open door? Gone. Baby gate? I can climb now, Dad. Put out of reach on the counter? I've got reach. The only thing he hasn't got is an "off" switch.

So what do you get for a toddler who's into everything? My vote is duct tape.

Really, it's for their own good. It's strong, so they can't break it like toys. It's shiny so they are really mesmerized by its looks. It's sticky -- what kid doesn't like sticky? C'mon, if it's good enough to fix the lunar rover, it's good enough for my kids! Plus, this way you always know where your toddlers are, and you know they're safe. That's good parenting, right?

So you see, officer, they needed duct taping.

Oh, well, Happy Birthday Nub!

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