Pimping For Pampers

One of the many joys of parenthood is getting to change your kid's diapers.

If you happen to be the industrious sort, you may have a couple in diapers at the same time. And if you're really, really lucky you could have three. I see this in my future.

The Nodlings are more or less on a two-year stair step in terms of age ranges. Usually, one kid is phasing out of diapers by the time the next one comes along. My boy, Nub, has DS and is already 5 years old, so I don't see this coming to fruition this time around.

My youngest girl, Nib, is turning 3 so she is my best bet for potty training, but she isn't there yet. One thing I can tell you about diapers is that they are EXPENSIVE and they are a recurring cost. My kids have a $80 a month habit. My cell phone plan doesn't even cost that much. Now before you say "cloth diapers" let me just say that's not going to happen here. It is frustrating how much money we're wasting. I'm thinking I should just cut out the middle man and dump the cash right in the flusher.

Can't I apply for economic relief or something? I've got six kids now, and I came by them honestly - one at a time. Not like some weird OctoMom or fertility drug experiment gone wrong. Why should these people get the "free diapers for life" when we normal and responsible - but fecund - people have to pony up for every one? Heck, don't they know where their "base" come from? Remember: no babies, no profits. C'mon, even free diapers for a couple of months would make a difference. Don't I get frequent flier - er, wiper - miles?

Ah well, it's a pay-to-play system. You make 'em, you wipe 'em.