Wynken On The Rack

Wynken is all recovered from his adenoidectomy just in time to get a palate expander. This is all just prep work to get the kid braces - a middle class rite of passage for middle schoolers.

I find the whole process horrifying. But in the interest of full disclosure I am a dental neurotic. I'm not afraid of the dentist, but they are afraid of me. I do have an irrational fear of people messing around with my teeth -- even for a good or necessary reason. The reaction is getting more pronounced as I get older, too: full fledged panic attacks, profuse sweating, crying, hyperventilation. I've never hurt anyone, but I have threatened to bite; the doctor always approaches very slowly and warily and lets me know exactly what he's about to do. The dentist says he's sedating me next time -- too bad anesthesia and I aren't getting along either.

Dentists aren't too bad as long as they stick to cleaning; orthodontists are nothing but Medieval sadists. I'm convinced that there is a special circle of Hell that is reserved for orthodontists.

Wynken's palate expander is designed to widen his mouth as he grows so that there will be enough room for his teeth so the braces can do some good.

[OG] The Palatal expander is an appliance used to widen the arch of the upper jaw. It is a plastic plate that is often placed on the roof of the mouth. Outward pressure is then applied to the plate by screws force the joints in the bones of the palate to open lengthwise, widening the palatal area.

There is a "key" which you insert into the middle every night and crank it a half turn to increase the pressure and keep the palate expanding. Mrs. Nod takes care of this duty at present. I am like that horrified bystander at a car wreck -- you don't want to, but you can't help looking.

Eventually there will be teeth pulled as well. I will NOT be present.