Kids are amazing. They are the most fun you'll ever have while tearing your hair out. They don't always do what you want them to, but some things you can guarantee they'll always do with amazing regularity.
1. If you are a Dad and you lay on the floor, some kid will jump on you within 60 seconds.
2. As soon as you announce it's time for bed, some kid develops an incredible thirst/hunger/pain.
3. It can be dead quiet in the house, but if you pick up the phone to make a call all heck will break loose.
4. Requests to clean this pig sty of a room will be met with claims of "I don't see anything".
5. Repeated calls to come for dinner can't be heard, but whispers of "Ice Cream" mean the patter of many feet.
6. Switching into a foreign language in mid-lecture will miraculously be translated as "You want me to clean my room?"
7. Asking who did something will always be answered with "Not me."
8. Asking 'what are you doing' will always be answered with "Nothing."
9. Kids who are too full to eat any more vegetables will be hungry for a snack 20 minutes after dinner.
10. Any kid who is "not tired" after a long day will be asleep two minutes after holding still.
Feel free to add to the list below!