Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Shoved To Them Scandal Revealed!


WBN has just learned that rumors are circulating 1 around the Internets that blogging sensation aka the Mom and author of possibly the Best Blog Of All Time2, is selling the house and moving to Dallas this summer in order to hide a shocking secret.

The crack investigative staff at AoftheA3 has confirmed4 in an exclusive scoop that aka the Mom intends to convey the blog, Shoved To Them and its entire readership, with the house. That's right, readers, your RSS feed will be packed in a box right next to the Raggedy Andy doll and the extra garden hose and auctioned off to the highest bidder in order to secure an extra percentage point on the new mortgage.

Initial reports indicate that the part of aka the Mom will be assumed by a Ukranian seamstress in Toledo and the role of the Computer Guy will be performed by Professor Wonderful5, pending a successful credit background check and first month's security deposit. The parts of the children are rumored to be scaled back to a pair of Siamese cats due to budget cuts.

We here at WBN find this news to be deeply troubling. If found to be true,6 a write-in campaign is being organized to petition the courts for an emergency injunction against it, thereby protecting the rights of RSS readers everywhere. We will not be traded like a pack of cigarettes in a prison.

Suspicions are deepening due to the lack of denial7 by aka the Mom and the crew of Shoved to Them. Requests for comment have gone unanswered as of this publication.

In other news, llama hair may be a major contributing factor to climate change...

1We should know, we started it.

2Voting still open.

3Most Humorous Blog. Again, voting is still open.

4Actually, LarryD has no idea this is happening.

5Who, as my neighbor in 1984 in California, showed me his perfect feet as declared by the Department of the Army.

6Or at least wildly inaccurate.

7Mostly because we didn't ask.


LarryD said...

Ohmigosh, you realize what you've done??? You've left yourself defenseless against a serious can of Oklahoma whoop-a**! aka the Mom will NOT be happy you've gone ahead and published the truth about this entirely fabricated rumor of unsubstantiated innuendo and gossip.

I'll come back later and clean up the mess...

Defend Us In Battle said...

Wait, I am being packed in a box and shipped?

I am confused.

Nod said...

I can hardly believe it myself.

aka the Mom said...

Nod! How can you do this to me? Here I am planning a baby shower for you and Mrs Nod and you reveal my secret plotting to the world, thereby scaring off any would be purchasers. Ugh!

How am I going to sell a well lived in house without the added incentive or a little-read obscure blog which nobody's ever heard of?

It's all on you, now. I know where you live. If it doesn't go for a good price, I'm packing off the middle kids and sending them to you. We can buy a cheaper house in Texas and I'm sure that they will love being Nodlings.

aka the Mom said...

Joe, You're not being packed. You're being sold. It's not pretty, but it's true.

I'd say I'm sorry, but it's just a hard fact of life.

Nod said...

aka the Mom - I could use the excuse that information just wants to be free, or refer to the first amendment freedom of speech, people need to know the truth -- blah, blah, blah.

But I'm just going with the time honored reason: LarryD made me do it.

Nod said...

Besides, I think it would take us a while to notice any new Nodlings ...

LarryD said...

But I'm just going with the time honored reason: LarryD made me do it.

I didn't know you were a bus driver, Nod. Ow-che-wah-wah!

aka the Mom said...

I love y'all.

LarryD said...

I love y'all.

The feeling is mutual, a.t.Mom


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