Five Minutes In The Box

All it takes is five minutes in the box and I'm like a new man. Bam! Why do we wait so long some times?

Historically, after confession my prayer life is re-invigorated, my temper subsides, my thirst for the things of God is sweetened, I'm more reliable, cheerful, and much more charitable towards others.

In hockey you go to the Penalty Box after committing a foul. Two minutes for minor penalties, five minutes for really serious offenses.

I was complaining that I needed to go to Confession, and the guys said, "Is it that bad?".

I said, "Well, after so many two-minute minors, it adds up to a five-minute major."

Confession For Dummies

The Vatican is complaining that people aren't doing Confession right: either they don't go, don't know, or would like to psycho-analyze it.

[Guardian] But, according to the Vatican, real life confessions are in danger of turning into cosy counselling sessions, which is why priests are to be issued with a handbook instructing them to give their flocks a sharp reminder of what sin is all about.

Explaining the initiative, an official at the Vatican office on clergy told Vatican Radio that the declining number of churchgoers who went to confession were confusing it with "a psychiatrist's couch". "An ever decreasing number of people see a clear difference between good and evil, between truth and lies and between sin and virtue, and therefore fewer are taking confession," said Archbishop Mauro Piacenza.

For this we need a handbook? Sheesh. We got Drive-Thru Jesus.

Or, they could do what I do: "Bless my wife, Father, for she has sinned. Let me tell you about it ...".

That gets 'em every time.