Sunday, December 2, 2007

Grocery Olympics

You'd never think that groceries could be a subject of competition. You'd never think that -- but then you're probably not in my family either. Then again, given its size, maybe you are.

With the larder dangerously low, comments like these are not out of place in my house: "I would never have thought of putting those two foods together". So, OK, already, I get the hint. Time to go shopping.

I like food shopping as a creative outlet. My wife just wants biscotti. My sister-in-law has crowned me King of Useless Foods. Or something like that. I just like to try new things to tantalize my palette. Hey, just because a food stinks, it's not automatically bad.

Just getting staples for a family in the plus six range can add up fast. So with cart brimming over with foodstuffs and falling out on the floor I pull up into what must be my private line. On the extreme left is the "Express" lane (15-items or less), in the middle we have the Regulars, and to the right of that is the Olympic line. The checkout clerk was a little goggle-eyed at the sheer volume of stuff I managed to jam into a single wobbly-wheeled wire-frame chariot.

Clerk: "Christmas shopping?"
Me: (confused) "No, regular."

I got a little appreciative look for that one.

Clerk: "We need more customers like you!"
Me: "Just doing my bit for the economy."

I could have used two carts I suppose, but that's when you know you need to stop shopping -- no more room in the cart. When the kids hit their teens, that will no longer be optional.

Not to be outdone, my sibs reminded me that Mom had a train of four carts on a regular basis.
Says she, "I spent $500 a trip back when that was a lot of money".
News flash: it still ain't chump change.


Patrick said...

Oy. I do believe you're trying to put the fear of God into those of us with smaller families. That's it. We're done! ;)

Polska said...

"I never would have thought of putting those two foods together"

If the person who said this is who I think it is, she's also said,

"I don't know. I've never baked potatoes in my oven."

K*Lo said...

Meh, childs play. Literally. I was 10 and hauling two carts around the Commisary. Gold medal olympian right here. Try to keep up ;)


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